THE TWO RELATIONSHIP LADDERS THAT LEADS TO A WOMAN’S HEART

The two relationship ladders; quite enigmatic for a title, yet you will be perplexed and enlightened after I walk you through this. Your curiosity must be at its peak wondering what these ladders could be and where they could lead. Fear not, their destination doesn’t go beyond our very own earth, yet into the knotty heart of the very beautiful and enchanting woman that we so much desire.

Through various observations and from the study of the natural order of the world on how attraction works, I have noticed something which all you, my perceptive readers will come to terms with. Two distinctive ladders lead to a woman’s heart; The LOVERS and FRIENDS ladder. Our actions and decisions influence our placement at the foot of only one of the ladders and also our strategic positions on the ladder, whether we ascend or descend.

Good, first impressions matter they say, most women judge us (we the male species) at first sight. Appraising our value within the first few minutes of interaction and placing us at the foot of the ladder deemed fit by them. She thinks this way; “hmmm, he looks nice and seems friendly. He will make a good friend.” Or better still, “wow, he’s so cute/hot and quite interesting. Definitely my type, I will like to go out with him.” Or worse “he’s shabby looking and of an uncouth behavior. I best avoid him.” All these outcomes could play in her head, but worry not; even an impaired first impression could be corrected with a powerful comeback. As it is said, a book should not be judged by its cover and even the man that makes a good first impression still poses the harm of throwing a spanner in the works.

A Scott Jarvie picture

As said earlier, one can ascend or descend on either of these ladders. On the FRIENDS’ ladder, you can be best of friends with her, a close friend, a good friend, just a friend, or no longer friends when you fall of the ladder. The same principle applies to the LOVERS’ ladder where you can fall off as an ex or a wasted venture and can as well ascend as a crush, a friend with benefit, a potential lover and at its peak, a boyfriend/spouse.

When you make acquaintances with her, you’re in-between both ladders and your progressive actions determines which ladder you climb unto. Like it is being said, “nice guys finish last.” A nice guy (excluding the men that genuinely want to be friends) in that context simply means a man that thinks not so highly of himself and feels he has to compliment his way up to the woman’s heart. Probably run lots of errands for her and has not the nerve to decline her requests or tell her NO. All in all, a “nice guy” doesn’t understand how attractions work. These are the men who not by choice find themselves on the FRIENDS’ ladder due to their ill social predisposition of you having to be best of friends with the lady you desire before suggesting or attempting intimacy. As this is not a law, “nice guys” sometimes find themselves on the LOVERS’ ladder. I might argue, it’s mostly by chance or at times the talk of interest fancies them already.

Here comes the spoilers; the two ladders are so special and distinct that moving from one ladder to another is considered an anomaly or a miracle when you’ve gone so far up a ladder, owing to the obvious fact that women don’t function the way men do. This is evident from observations that show women rarely get into relationships with their close male friends as they don’t feel attracted to them. Unlike men who are mostly indifferent and wouldn’t mind to do the naughty with a close female friend as long as she’s willing and they’re attracted. For these reasons, some of us have fallen into the very dark and deep pit called the FRIENDZONE. In this zone, words can’t describe how heartbroken one feels especially when you care a whole lot about the girl. It’s like having a front row seat at the premiere of a highly rated movie by your favorite actress without having your eye sight (moment of silent please..). Unless you reach the peak (boyfriend/spouse) of the lovers’ ladder, your time on the ladder is mostly short-lived. It becomes extremely difficult to go back to being friends because as earlier said; moving from one ladder to another is considered an anomaly.

Finally, to say there is a lovers' ladder doesn’t mean they didn’t start off as friends, women recognize friends that they are likely to date. Note that how high up you go from a ladder is directly proportional to how difficult it becomes to move from one ladder to another e.g. it is easy for a guy who is just a friend to climb unto the lovers’ ladder and it becomes increasing difficult for those that are close friends, best of friends and the friend-zoned brothers. So also, it is easier for a guy who is just a crush to become a good friend by moving to the friend’s ladder, than a boyfriend who is way high up. One thing we should all know is that even if your Dominoes fall into the right places, the final decision still rests on her shoulders. Well you could influence her decision with a love charm **winks**. Please do comment and freely criticize. Cheers!