WHY YOUR SPOUSE’S PHONE IS AN ONION

I must have died from choking on an onion bulb in my first life, it probably made me to resent its very existence. Its repulsive smell stirs up my stomach like an unforgiving cake mixer and makes me want to puke. It still puzzles me why prehistoric men decided to eat a vegetable that makes you cry. In its vile nature, it comprises of several layers and as you peel further it makes you cry the more. She just left for the bathroom and fortunately for you she left her mobile. No feeling could be more tempting than the one you’re feeling right now; you want to check her messages, emails and read her chat so bad. Don’t do it!!! You will only stir up negative feelings.

When we get involved in relationships, the feeling of us being played or cheated on lingers in our heart. It’s a natural phenomenon for most people, which in most cases are born out of bitter experiences from past relationships. As this is an ever present feeling, the need to know continues to haunt us, so we go James bond on our partners at every opportunity that presents itself, with the objectives of spying and intercepting enemy (opposite sex) messages. If only you knew that even the most harmless of all messages could be misinterpreted.

As technology is now so advanced, women need not to check for lipstick stains on their man’s collar. The men now have cyber-collars which get stained more than often with the infidelity the internet promotes. Women often times than many have been caught snooping in their partner’s facebook and twitter account, also in their emails, text messages and chatting apps. The act usually spurred by a hunch of infidelity, for others it’s instinctive of them to pry while for some, they can’t just overcome the temptation.

Your partner’s phone is an onion. The more you go deep into it, the more likely you’re to cry. As it is known that people who go looking for trouble will always find it, which is also applicable to searching your partner’s phone for God knows what you could be looking for. A simple message read with sentiments could be understood by you in the wrong context and assumed to be flirtatious or sexually suggestive. In truth and in all transparency the message could just be their way of having an interesting conversation, yet it gets you troubled and series of negative scenarios start playing in your head. I for one, I get lots of newsletters on my email that I don’t even know how or when I subscribed to them. Provocative newsletters like “meet hot chicks that are ready for you”, “how to last longer in bed” etc. If my partner then reads my email, not only will she think I’m cheating, she will probably think am a pervert having inadequacy issues. Let’s say your sixth sense tells you he is cheating, you then decide to intrude his privacy, unfortunately for you, your guts were right. He had been cheating on you with Susan. Like the outstanding FBI agent that you’re, you’ve got enough incriminating chats, messages and pictures to confront him. You feel hurt, heartbroken and betrayed, but more like a douche for going through his phone without his consent. This is because at that moment, you’re in no way better than him or Susan. You’re the one with the trust issue and you’re the monster that intruded his privacy.



Privacy is a sacred thing and it should be kept and treated as such. Aside checking pictures, prying into your partner’s phone is a major trespass, it never ends well. There is always a sick feeling that comes with it even if your suspicions are true and worse if your partner is as clean as a whistle. You could tell your GF to show you her facebook inbox; then you will know that there are so many desperate and perverted individuals of the male specie that want her so bad and her only fault is because she is beautiful and friendly. A jealous guy comes across this and makes a huge fuss about it, looks stupid and eventually hurts his relationship. None of us will want anyone to check whatever we might have browsed on or searched on Google without our consent, however innocent these things could be. Google is actually my best friend, I used to check how to kiss when I was so naïve and certainly I wouldn’t have wanted anybody to come across this. I know you’ve googled worse (points finger). Their phone is a black book, their personal diary and it should be respected. We won’t be our actual selves if we don’t hold things back for ourselves. These things are part of our identity and we probably don’t want you to know about them. Some things are just confidential and should be accepted as such.



Imagine an alternate universe, in which you were not the snoopy type, things could have been different. You wouldn’t have felt the negative emotions attributed with finding out that he or she was probably cheating. He/She probably would get over the person and stick with you. You probably wouldn’t have ruined the surprise they had planned for you, he/she would have trusted you more and your relationship would have been blissful.



What you don’t know will certainly not bother or hurt you. You’re responsible for your happiness and you have no control over the actions of others. It’s never a nice feeling when you’re at the other end and you’re been interrogated over something your partner must have seen on your phone, particularly if it’s harmless. Jealousy is cute but it could be straight out obnoxious. So respect their privacy and avoid dating people that always raise your suspicions or people you have little trust for, because in truth such relationships are bound to crash. In your own opinion you could claim it brought you justice, so also is it through that you could have avoided a lot of heart aches, heart breaks and mistrust issues if you had avoided peeling the onion. When you do, it’s most likely you find and it’s more certain that you cry.

THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE

The Nigerian economy is largely oil- based. Some people would rather say it is a mono-product economy. The economy has been in dire straits over the years, because of a combination of the neglect of education, especially technical and vocational education and science-based technology education, poor leadership and governance, corruption, as well as poor monetary and fiscal policies.

Unemployment in Nigeria is one of the most critical problems the country is facing. The years of corruption, civil war, military rule, and mismanagement have hindered economic growth of the country even though Nigeria is endowed with diverse and infinite resources, both human and material.

As per a report of the World Bank in 2005, unemployment in Nigeria has resulted in more and more people who do not have purchasing power while less consumption has led to lower production which has social consequences as it increases the rate of crime. The rate of unemployment within the age group of 20 to 24years is 40%.

Economic growth is not the only solution to curb unemployment in Nigeria. The official statistics illustrate that previously, unemployment did not always decline with the economic growth. Other solutions such as the provision of right skills to the people to help them tackle the problems and lead a more prosperous life, as well as the development of agriculture and sports should be given greater attention while infrastructural problems should be tackled in conjunction with institutional problems (law and order, and others).

It is said that without proper and dedicated leaders, all the necessary solutions cannot be attained, therefore making people believe that the unemployment line will keep growing longer and longer.

                                              

The political landscape is littered and full of wreckage of unpopular policies and those involved in such activities appear to enjoy the nation’s underdeveloped status. However, patriots believe there is a ray of hope and the solution to this is by electing officials with proven integrity, drive and know-how to transform and manage the affairs of the nation, because without meeting the ethical and leadership challenges and improving organizational effectiveness, Nigeria may not achieve her objectives.

Feel free to comment your views on this. Cheerio!!!

ENTANGLED TRIANGLE

"..It is you I want, it is you I have always wanted… Give me a chance and I would prove to you that it was never true….’’.


With those words of love he hung himself with the wretched rope from that same tree that held the secrets of what happened to James, hoping to find happiness in a bleak world without her. 

She stood from afar afraid to come close to his rejected grave-for it was a taboo to give a befitting burial for such a dishonourable death. Tear drops rolled down her face as she digested each word scribbled on the piece of paper. If only she had known what really happened before she got married, her world would have been somewhat different. Now going back to her miserable abode she calls a home, succumbing to smacks on her face as an affectionate form of welcome. She dreaded the trek.

 ‘Where have you been again?’…he barked.
She only left to pay respects to her lover. She went to pay the respect she had cowardly avoided all these miserable months. Femi went to the grave betrayed of love antagonized by his very own friend who in the dark and twisted fantasy of his desire wanted what was his. What more had he left with that evening he snuffed himself of life…

Kunle was devoid of the idea that Janet finally came to the truth. It was in her heart to pay back her debts to Femi in full. All she has now is to tolerate what Kunle showers her with, anguish and fear, knots of insane love.

Kunle only wanted what Femi always had. Femi had Janet, all he ever wanted in his life, Janet. It was enough that Femi had a good heart towards things but his heart only wrought him folly for he was too blind to behold that he whom he held dear as a friend was his foe. 

Janet, soft spirited to the core, loved Femi but ended up with Kunle. How tables did turn. She was hurt of Femi but not by Femi. She was lied to and now her eyes are open. She is ashamed and embarrassed. Now she begins to wonder at the turn of events and why Kunle really wanted to marry her. Naïve Janet mistook Kunle’s desperation for his honesty and manliness to have her as his wife and defend the death of her only family, her younger brother.

Femi couldn’t take the trauma of psychological blackmail so he accepted his gruesome fate and face the reality of the other side.

Janet cannot take it anymore she has had enough of her life in misery. This was never what she dreamt of even when it took a turn. Nonetheless it’s over with Kunle and so shall it be. This wasn’t meant to be how the story ends.

Tonight was going to be a new beginning of an end. Janet made dinner for the both of them. She called out to Kunle grumpily. Looking at him as he came, she wondered how his life of guilt and greed didn’t even make him live life as he should have.
…”I will make life easier for the both of us…and you will be glad I did”
He washed his hands as he began his justice to the cassava flour….she ate in tears. The candle light couldn’t make out her face so she ate in silence of fear and pain.The muffled way Kunle ate irritated her ear. She knew in her heart that Kunle at some point loved her but more like an animal.
‘‘….Janet, I love you so much Janet I cant live without you and I mean it. I know things turned out differently but some day somehow for you Janet, I would go anywhere and do anything to prove to you I had nothing to do with the death of James…just listen to me…’’

Under the mango tree right in the compound that evening it rained, Femi wanted to tell her the truth but she was too adamant to listen not knowing what it pushed him to do. She looked at the tree and sighed in pain.
The poison began weighing on her. ‘Forever with you Femi’ she thought. She felt happy again. Kunle began choking. His eyes bulged he looked wicked in pain. She did not feel sorry for him or her actions. He coughed harder and begged for help. She coughed in pain but her face looked peaceful even as she parted from reality.

When she arose she saw Femi welcoming her. They spoke not with words but with their hearts for now they knew better. It’s all done now, the truth had set them truly free. 

The neighbors mourned. They saw the note that pleaded with them to specifically bury her close to Femi’s grave which they thought was an abominable pit for his manner of death wrought unanswered questions.
No one still came to know the truth of all the drama of death for there was more to it than the eyes met.




THE END!

ART AS A VOICE-SEGLAWS ART STUDIO

Decades ago, many will have asked; where is art going to get you to? Is it going to launch you into fame? Is it going to fetch you enough money? Will it make you achieve your dreams? However, these questions have been finally answered in the last few years, with fast rising Nigerian artists such as Seglaw's Art, Emmylead Art, Akorede Art and other young contemporary artists, one would start to wonder how art speaks these days as Nigerian youths continue to show true passion and talent to the world telling them what art truly depicts.

Only when you are new to the world of art can you be new to Seglaw's Art Studio. Forget about the fame, many fans and instagram users believe he is the real deal! With works depicting professionalism, true art and raw talent, moving ahead of his contemporaries with millions of steps, it appears there are no words to describe the phenomenal artist which also led to a jaw-dropping comment by a Fan on instagram calling him "The god of art" and other series of praises showering on the 2014 Babcock Student Entrepreneur of the year. He has hugely built a reputation of a highly humble personnel and then many would just conclude saying "The sky is his beginning."

The year 2014 brought him into limelight, with it now gone and 2015 promising to be better, SAS will definitely break boundaries as he is already showing art to the world and desperate to leave an evergreen legacy on the hearts of lovers. Major awards would be the prime target for the superman as he embarks on a journey to sell art to the world.




Visit http://seglawsartstudio.blogspot.com/?m=1 for details, activities and posts of this wonder man, also do check out seglaw's_artstudio on Instagram and seglaw's art studio on Facebook for more... 

YOU CAN'T REALLY BLAME THE WOMEN

Lots of my home boys will probably think I have lost my mind after reading this article, because it would definitely please the world feminist population. Not to worry guys, I will always groove: “these hoes ain’t loyal” with you all on any front. Women: these are dazzling creatures that were created with the utmost artistry, both in their physicality and character. These beautiful beings never had it fair and still don't in some parts of the world. Women have always been prejudiced from history; in the medieval times and up until early western civilization. Women were treated as property, 'something' you could give out or use as you so wish, 'something' that had neither a say nor an opinion. As for the women who were born into noble families, they were groomed like an investment to be married off to a man of capable means just for the purpose of breeding and taking care of the home. They could not own properties, take up a career or have a say. I guess I will stop here because it will take a whole book to summarize the injustice done to women.

These beautiful beings have long been hunted since puberty. They have come across all sorts of jerks, assholes, fools, pedophiles, heart breakers, needy guys and guys that just don’t get it. Our (male) species have so much destroyed the dating platform that it makes it so difficult for the good guys with good intentions to have a chance at getting their dream girl. Unlike us guys, girls enter the dating scene early(when a guy of similar age would still be thinking of the next video game to play or exam to pass); probably evident from the fact that they get sexually matured earlier than their male counterparts, even the shiest among them will always have a guy chasing her. Which makes me pity shy guys, because girls are not so much in the habit of chasing guys except you’re wealthy, very handsome or you probably possess something special that they desire. Since women get introduced to the dating scene quite early, they always have their fair share of the good, the bad and the ugly experiences. So don’t blame them when they’re too quick to judge or give you attention. It’s our fault.




Kudos to Chris Brown wherever he is. The jilted male population appreciates that your song a lot. I could argue women have no conscience but it wouldn’t please my feminist readers, yet they could be so blunt in their actions, cheating and lying to your face even when we assume them to be the more faithful sex. I try not to criticize since I know guys are not any better. Where it becomes an issue is that we are stereotyped to believe women are supposed to be committed and responsible. In the modern day, social conditioning that once held women on a tight leash no longer has its hold on them. Women are just as promiscuous as men and the world is beginning to see it as something normal. They care less about their reputation which used to be something of great value in the past.




In my country Nigeria, if a man cheats, probably gets another woman pregnant, if he is apologetic enough, he calls a family meeting; with the aim of begging the wife to accept the issue as it is; but if the slightest evidence of infidelity is noticed on a woman’s part she is sent packing. It‘s culture, but it is not in anyway fair. Some might back this up with the parable of the key and lock (A key that can open any lock is a master key, but a lock that can be opened by any key is useless). It then struck me; you can’t really blame the women. It’s genetic of them to look for greener pastures. In animals, the female animal will always want to mate with the strongest male animal, the badass male with the huge pride. This is also parallel to humans, no one wants a liability. Women will always prefer the rich guy that can take care of their needs and that of their unborn children. It’s basic animal instinct, as humans we have the sense of thinking, it’s commonsensical to know that it’s not all that glitters that is gold. We should work to build our homes.




Women are emotional creatures they rarely venture into logical thinking. They think most times with their hearts that are supple and flexible. Men take advantage of this and in some cases get in the way of their faithfulness. I must confess it is never easy to be a woman, particularly a very pretty one at that. You’ll always have a long list of men standing on your queue, pestering you and persistently chasing you, even till you’re married. Yet you can only have one due to social conditioning, else you’ll be called a slut. I trust my guys, we can’t survive with such constraints, we wouldn’t even mind if you call us names. It’s never easy for a woman, yet they are so compassionate and forgiving when we come home to them from our “adventures”. Advice to women: Improve yourself such that you won’t be expendable, marriage won’t be all you look forward to and you won’t be forced or helpless to tolerate all that a man does.



Saying for men: Life is a boomerang, good luck with that guy's boo you’re chasing, little do you know that the chase is red hot on your boo as well. {We probably care less because we feel she is playing us too}….. HuMMing ***these hoes ain’t loyal*** Watch out for; "you can’t really blame the men". Feminists out there, are you happy??????

BROADBAND: A NECESSITY FOR ALL

The world is slowly turning into a global village and borders that once stood between cultures now serve as bridges for the enjoyment of the diversity between people of different races and ethnicities. At the forefront of this change is internet broadband, which serves as the catalyst for reforming the world into a web that connects over 7 billion people across the globe in split seconds.

“Broadband is to the 21st Century Information Age what Electricity was to the Industrial Age. It has a significant transformative effect on how people live and work. It empowers the individual user with previously unimaginable capabilities and global reach. The Internet is the world’s biggest library and largest repository of information and knowledge; while High Speed Access is critical to fully harnessing the benefits of the Internet.” 

Any nation that recognizes the immense socio-economic importance of broadband services to national development should therefore seeks to ensure that the infrastructure necessary to provide ubiquitous broadband services is available and accessible to all citizens at affordable rates. The transformative benefits of having broadband available to all are clear and include improved learning, increased job creation, better community and civic engagement, improved trade and commerce, and a positive impact on GDP.

Darrel West, Vice President and Director of Governance Studies and Director of Center of Technology Innovation at Brookings Institution, Washington DC, USA argued that broadband access is a crucial driver of job creation and economic development. In other words, broadband is a catalyst for national development. It has played an important role in furthering economic development opportunities for small businesses, especially in rural areas. 

In the world today, students are surrounded by a personalized and engaging world outside of the school, but they are unplugging not only their technology, but also their minds and passions too often when they enter their schools. Broadband connects pupils and information through handheld devices and electronic instructional sets. Students now learn at their pace. Personalization makes education more arousing from the students’ standpoint and increases the odds of mastery of important concepts. Teachers can also serve as instructional coaches through wired classrooms. An analysis of application stores for Blackberry, iPhone, and Android found that particular education downloads included Cosmic Discoveries, Wheels on a Bus, Ace Flashcard, Star Walk, English Dictionaries and so on which are productivity-enhancing applications. 

In Nigeria today, entrepreneurs play a major role in the economics of this county. They launch companies, build businesses and provide employment opportunities. As the globe moves towards a digital economy, small and large scale businesses require mobile technology to provide boost for their companies. Broadband allows them to stay connected even on the go. This helps them remain in close contact with their customers, suppliers and banks both far and near. Due to their low cost and omnipresence, mobile technology has overcome digital disparities and inequities based on race and ethnicity. People living in rural areas have limited access to broadband and internet services which limits their development unlike fast growing cities like Lagos where use of broadband by businessmen is at its peak in Nigeria. Hence, investing in digital infrastructure of these areas provides means to improve the internet access in such remote areas can spur national development to unimaginable height. 

Nigeria has yet fully made use of the potentials broadband and wireless technology offers in terms of healthcare. Only few Nigerians have e-mail reminders that remind them to take their medicine, mechanisms to measure satisfaction with doctors and hospitals, or visit websites that make healthcare ratings publicly aware to the patients. One of the virtues of e-health is that it puts patients in charge of monitoring their health. Results from monitoring devices used to measure weight, blood pressure, sugar levels, and pulse can be sent electronically via broadband to healthcare providers. This enables personalized feedbacks via emails when patients don’t take their medicine, gain weight, have high blood pressure, or have an uptick in their cholesterol levels. With these, patients take responsibility for their routine health care and rely on physicians for only serious medical conditions. 

Nigeria’s Nollywood film industry was ranked third for globally generated revenue in 2011. It generated close to 126.4 billion Naira (about 800 million US Dollars) in the three years spanning 2010-2012. The two film industries ahead of Nigeria’s are the US’ Hollywood and India’s Bollywood. The global film and entertainment industry generated 14.5 Trillion Naira (90.6 billion US Dollars) in 2010. This was projected to increase to 16.2 trillion Naira (102.7 billion US Dollars) in 2012. The world has witnessed the increasing popularity of online media services like YouTube, Netflix, iTunes, and other media streaming or video-on-demand digital entertainment services but without broadband, online entertainment as we know it today would not exist. 

The largest consumer demands for bandwidth are coming from Music, Movies, Videos, TV shows and Radio content downloads. The demand to download video content, such as a movie or TV show, within a short timeframe requires significant bandwidth. A single video download (typically 400Mb) over the internet is likely to require not less than 20Mbps in data transfer rates, to ensure fast delivery of less than twenty five seconds to the end user. Under such circumstances, narrowband dial-up users are no better off than those without internet access; in terms of the extent that they can use (or not use) the internet for high quality, high definition entertainment purposes. With the global phenomenon of the global movie industry, the demand for video traffic is now more prevalent for mobile TV, Desktop TV, Cable TV and HDTV watchers. 

And as more of the world’s populations go online for entertainment, pressure on internet access infrastructure builds across the world - compelling a phenomenal worldwide shift towards high-capacity broadband networks. Greater bandwidth capability has become absolutely essential in order to prevent the networks from becoming congested with this traffic. Effective broadband infrastructure and distribution networks make this kind of growth possible, and aside from the impressive revenue that is being realized through the traditional global entertainment industry, broadband is permitting an enhanced revenue model for both the established and emerging small artists, and the media advertising agencies spreading their products and services across it. 

FROM THE CREVICES OF MY HEART

My eyes opened as I saw light filter through the curtain, was so irritable when I woke up. My twin brother who sleeps like a bear in hibernation had taken more than a fair share of the blanket to himself. My Normal early morning sickness had started to take hold. I should just have said that I had a cold because pastors always say, profess good things. Things couldn't get any worse I assumed. It didn't take a minute as Sandra just burst into the room without knocking. I was so infuriated that I shouted what?! She had no compassion on my nerves and simply said, "Tayo, you have to go buy bread and feed the turkeys." Angered, I slammed the door she left open and staggered downstairs, took my allergy pills and grumbled to the poultry house.

Although I'm a preacher of "conquer your fears" but this proved difficult to surmount. The Turkey is just one terrifying creature. This particular one had red like tomato throat; I could see the colours of the rainbow when I looked at its head. It puffed its feathers and was looking at me in a way that made me lose confidence in the cutlass I was holding. I managed to feed it but couldn't get close enough to give it water. ”It will survive” was what played in my head. I was relieved as I went out of the house to get bread.

It was a very cold and breezy morning. As I worked down the street, I saw two jolly looking children, happy they were but awful they looked. They wore two dissimilar shades of blue that ought to look like their school uniform. The uniforms designed with lots of patches and amendment. I being so susceptible to cold I dressed like I was going to the moon. These kids didn’t even have socks talk less of sweaters. Their dark skin as pale and white as ever, yet they beamed with smiles. One must wonder why they were so happy, so I eavesdropped on their conversation. It was hard to filter words through their not so fluent English and in-concurrent native dialect. Miraculously I did. These kids were so elated they had picked N50 on the ground and they were debating on which junks to get at school because breakfast was always absent at home and lunch was not exactly certain. My heart wept. I had to give them N100 from my pocket and instructed them to drop the N50 where they had seen it. Reluctantly they adhered to my instruction because they found the kindness strange. I was fulfilled as I watched them run along. I had brought more smiles to two people’s faces. It then struck my heart, what happens tomorrow?!

It breaks my heart to see hungry children, ill-dressed people, physically challenged people and parents maltreating their kids (usually born out of financial frustration). When I can’t help, my heart sends them sincere prayers. It’s just so bad that I don’t possess the power of healing but with the little I can do I try my best. They say poverty can’t be eradicated in any government system, so also people have said nothing is impossible. If we could just show kindness, care and give to the needy, the world will be a better place.

An act of charity benefits you as much or even more than it benefits those to whom you give. That reason alone should be sufficient to justify starting now. By raising the standard of living for the least able among us, we raise our own standard of living in turn.

When passers-by notice your act of giving, they are reminded that we are all interdependent on one another for our care and well-being and that may motivate countless others to follow your example. Many religious beliefs have it that when you give, you tend to get more in tenfold and more but the only way to find out if this is true is to START!!!.

Any gift to the needy is better than no gift. Start at a level you’re comfortable with now then increase if, or more likely when, you feel able and willing to. Look at what your generosity does for others and also observe the good it does for you.

Remember the poor, it costs nothing.
By Temitayo Bamgbose and Thomas Oluwapelumi

A LETTER FROM MY 16 YEAR OLD SELF

I don't know if right now you've given into those pressures you always complained about, I hope not. Have you started shaping ur brows and wearing make-up? I'm asking this because it once irritated you. Do you still write? I hope you do, it's what keeps you sane. How's your love life doing, do you even have one? Have you had sex yet? Do you still love sad songs? I wonder! I know I'm asking so many questions, but do you have answers? Do you still have those nightmares that kept you awake? Do you still spend countless hours in front of a mirror because you felt you weren't beautiful enough? What of that accident you had, did it change you as much as I thought it would? As a teenager, you were so reserved, has that changed? Have you experienced the heartbreak you've always dreaded? I wish I could be with you right now, living side by side and watching you make your mistakes, but that's as impossible as snow in Nigeria right now. How's Charles? Tell him I miss those days with him, but I had to grow up. Do you two still talk? It's funny how I was so scared I wouldn't live past 16, but I did, we did! I'm glad. Never forget what you always used to say, 'I won't stop living, till I'm done breathing'. Standing where you left me years ago, I'm so glad you grew up.Although sometimes, I miss being the one existing. Do me proud, do us proud!

CHOICES

Sages say “the choices a man makes are what make him”. The availability of options in life gives us the opportunity to make choices; the choice to be good, evil, holy, successful or even; a failure. Great men have always been known and distinguished by the choices they have had to make. The one thing that separates great people from ordinary people is the choice to stand for whatever they believe in no matter how foolish others may take it to be, in the end the foolishness that plays out often becomes wisdom.

The options that most likely come to us in certain situations may seem at times difficult but if we choose to make the choices and do the right things at the right time, most likely everything turns out to be good. I have had to make decisions out of some certain difficult situations and I definitely know it’s never an easy thing to do. In making certain life choices such as those involving family, one mustn’t be too hasty about things. One major thing I ask myself when making tough choices is the fact that, will the outcome make only me happy? , will it be to my own benefit and to that of others? Or, will it be just to satisfy my own ego or my own gains, will it benefit those around me. When making certain choices we should consider our happiness as well as the happiness of those around us. We must make sure, most especially that it is the right thing to do.

The choice to be successful lies in our own hands all we need to do is make the choice and most especially start work towards it. If we choose to do nothing about our present situation we would most likely remain where we are. One can only move forward if we choose to do so. Every single invention known to change the course of things are as a result of peoples choices to do so. Successful people are only successful because they choose to be so.

We as individuals must always choose to stand up for what is right and whatever we believe in. A saying goes thus, “if we choose to stand for nothing, we will most likely fall for anything”. We must always choose to speak up for what is right and do it at the right time.  We as youths and individuals must make the choice to stand up. Though generations past may have given us next to nothing, but the main thing we will always have is the strength to believe, the belief we have forms the tool to make new beginnings for ourselves, to put ourselves on platforms where the world can see us and identify us. But it all depends on the choices we make; the choice to make it or break it. 

STARVING THE GREEN MONSTER

Seen how the Hulk goes on rampage when you grab his damsel? The sight as we all know is quite disastrous; you wouldn’t want to be caught in between. I would bet not much is known about his cousin, Jealousy, the green monster that slowly creeps into the heart without making the slightest announcement, consumes us like wild fire and takes control of all senses and actions. The monster reveals itself when we are faced with the impending thought of losing someone of great value and importance. Someone we so much desire that we wouldn’t bear to lose. It’s natural animal instinct likewise human instinct to protect our territory, which comprises of things and individuals valuable to us. Being possessive and protective of our spouses is so also a way of protecting our territory which shows we care for them and value them.

Jealousy at hazardous levels causes havoc which gets you depressed, overly pessimistic and stirs up detrimental emotions, such as you feel insufficient with a great deal of hatred and revulsion emanating from your heart. It is of popular belief that jealousy is a major attribute of women, which most men, in some cases do well to hide better. It could be as result of the social stereotype that regards men as the more promiscuous sex, which many women are made to believe even though the actions of men have not been in any way helpful to disregard this assumption. Men are egotistic creatures. It is not to say that they do not get jealous but most men find being jealous a demeaning act as they are presumed to be the dominant and emotionally stronger sex. So men have stronger tolerance and restraint for keeping the green monster in chains. Studies and observations show jealous is not totally a thing of the sex, it as to do with the individual’s personality. Some people are just extremely jealous, it’s their nature, and they can’t help it. These kinds of people don’t do well with impending threats of losing their treasured ones to others even if the threat is not a potent one. This is usually born out of insecurities, neediness and lack of self confidence. These are what the green monster feeds on and this kind of people invites the green monster to a buffet.

I personally believe that when you get jealous, it’s because you care, so also nothing is good in excess. Feeding the green monster often, such that it gains strength and unleashes itself in the most terrible ways is an evidence of insecurity, low self esteem and lack of self confidence. As much as you care about him or her, it still doesn’t mean you should lose yourself. When you lose yourself and cause chaos, penitence might not just be enough to save your relationship. So you should see yourself as the prize, have the mind frame of being irreplaceable, stitch it in your brain and heart that your partner will be the one at a loss if he or she decides to cheat or leave you. Though you might not be exact equals in social standing and career status, still believe in your worth and strive to get better and raise your station

Yes, you are involved with him/her, but it still doesn’t make billions of the female /male world population to cease to exist. Even if your partner isn’t so much of a “hottie”, the opposite sex will always continue to make passes at him/her as long as they find your lover desirable. So get your acts together, don’t go breaking heads, demonstrate high value, kill your insecurities and subconsciously tell your partner that although you’re hanging out with him/her, I’m not threatened because I know I have more to offer you and I’m better. ALERT!!!! If it becomes a routine to meet or catch your spouse in suggestive situations with the opposite sex, you’re permitted to break heads and let all hell loose probably after verbal resolution fails. Concisely moderation is vital.

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THE SCIENCE IN RELATIONSHIPS

You must be mystified wondering what the SCIENCE in love relationships could be about, with relationship being a form of social interaction in its description, so getting to attach a level of science detailing could sound a lot confusing. You could probably call me a Wizard though, because I tend to materialize Gold out of the thin air, but as you journey with me into my world of MICROBIOLOGY, it’s certain could become a believer.

As I have finally succeeded in grafting science and relationship together, I can boldly say that relationships tend to move in a graphical trend which could be likened to a typical microbial growth curve. As I continue, you will have to pardon my French. To my witty readers who aren’t so science inclined, get ready to be spoon fed.

The microbial growth curve simply shows and explains the rate of growth of microorganisms over a period of time. The growth curve possesses four phases; the LAG, EXPONENTIAL, STATIONARY and DEATH/DECLINE PHASE. From intensive research these phases were found to be ingrained in the growth of a love relationship.

I begin; the lag phase in microbial terms is when the microorganisms are slightly dormant, increase in size and begin to produce enzymes and vitamins vital for their growth. This slow phase is related to human intimate relationships and similar to when two intending lovers make acquaintances of each other and he starts wooing her. This is the period of knowing each other, when the expected butterflies in both bellies are still caterpillars, with the man trying to impress and put up a good show. This phase ends mostly with the woman saying yes.

In the exponential phase, the organism starts to grow, reaches its peak and reproduces at a very fast rate which is also synonymous, being that after the lag phase the butterflies in both bellies are fully grown and are dancing “shoki.” In this phase, things are going so well for both of you; you could actually “die on top her matter.” You open doors for her, she calls and texts you frequently, she always wants to be with you and you’re probably having a reasonable amount of quality sex. In short, nothing could be more perfect because you’re so in love with little or no care for the world. Sadly the stationary face walks in. 

In microbial studies this is the phase where there is no decline or increase in growth. It becomes constant because production equals accumulation of toxic waste and nutrients become depleted. This is also in relation with humans, because after the exponential phase, you become sober, the intoxicating effect from the alcohol of love is now wearing off, with the butterflies getting old. Things move at a steady state. You don’t get to communicate often, the sex isn’t so thrilling, you probably start to argue more, things are not so fun and one of you starts to lose interest. In summary, the love depletes and as we all know the law of diminishing returns affect virtually all things, so it becomes apparent for the dreaded DEATH phase to creep in.

As the death phase creeps in, the toxic waste accumulates so highly, nutrients become completely depleted and microbial growth reduces until it eventually seizes and all life forms die. This is also observed in human love relationships as this is the phase where the butterflies starts to die, couples start to fight, things get excruciatingly boring with little or no communication, one of you probably cheats, the ‘love” becomes distasteful till it eventually dies and fades.

 The REASON why most relationships end up in the death phase; when we develop assumed crush on a guy/lady, we want them so bad like our life depends on it. They’re like the most important prize in the world to us. We crave for them severely and our hearts blinds us to seeing their negative behaviors that aren’t so attuned with ours. We then get them. We feel made for a while, later the feeling becomes not as intense as before. We’re like kids fascinated by their new toy later to get bored of it. A major reason why relationships fail is because we get lazy and take things that used to matter for granted; we stop putting in effort, we stop looking good for one another, we stop doing what got him/her attracted to us, then things turn for worse and gets excruciatingly boring, we blame it on our partner, we blame it on all sorts of things until worse scenarios fill up the rest of the chapters.

The SOLUTION; just as my ex told me, “relationships don’t remain stagnant, when it’s about to die you have to reignite the flames of the love or water the plant of love for it to continue to grow.” So start giving it your all, your time and the best of your efforts. Now I’m about to speak in Greek. In modern microbiology a solution was proffered to the problem of the growth curve which always ended in a death phase. It was the CHEMOSTAT, an invention which kept the growth in the exponential phase for optimum growth. It works on the principle of pumping in fresh nutrients and simultaneously removing toxic waste. It is carried out in a controlled and contained environment. This is evident in most successful relationships where you find new ways and put in more effort to keep your love fresh (pumping in fresh nutrient). Putting in consideration that you have to agree to disagree, be faithful and forgive grudges (remove toxic waste). Finally, keeping your issues to one another (contained environment) rather than telling them to the prying ears of your friends. With all said, I’m very certain you can convince most of your friends that you majored in microbiology. So when you get home, show your man or woman this article or send the link to him/her and ask them for the phase you are in at present. Please do comment and feel free to criticize. If you love it, broadcast it and share it. Cheers!!

**Do send this article to your partner and ask him/her about the phase your relationship is currently in.**