Nothing sounds safe being in excess and such fact abounds greatly in the matter of love. It could be quite suffocating at times, making you gasp for the bits of your personal life that seems to be snuffed out of you. Often when we get involved in relationships or with new people we are emotionally attached to, we tend to seek for more of their attention, which is purely a natural human inclination but which becomes overly bothersome when done in excess.
The affinity that occurs between two emotionally attached individuals naturally makes them depend on each other for happiness, validation and other needs. In some cases, one of the partners suffers from a love sickness which is ingrained in their personality and makes them overly seek for attention, affection and validation, which in modern terms could be classified as being needy or clingy. Being needy doesn’t necessarily only occur between lovers, it could be between friends and family as well. These individuals subconsciously and consciously demand for more help and attention than the other counterpart is willing to give. They find themselves usually scared and helpless and in need of someone to hold on to. They feel easily betrayed, hold grudges and effortlessly misinterpret words said to them or said about them.
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Being needy demonstrates low value and self esteem, high sense of insecurity and inferiority; it doesn’t justify your love or care for your partner. It only chokes them. An individual with high value ought to be occupied with at least things that are personal to him/her or even work. The person ought to have hobbies, things to do or think about in their free time and a social circle comprising of cool friends with the right attitude, who he/she can always have fun with. Neediness carries baggage of negative feelings, such as: depression, inadequacy, malice, jealousy, low self esteem and other insecurities.
If you are the needy type and fortunately you’re reading this, you have to realize that situations won’t always happen the way you want it, people won’t always be committed to you, people will love you and still not communicate with you, people will decide not to return your calls or texts, people are busy and occupied with some things at times and that in friendship and other relationships there could be lack communication yet it still doesn’t mean it’s over or it’s not valued. You have to learn that people will always disappoint, flake out on you and that no one is too willing to give more than what they’re capable of. As much as I love to spend quality time with my sweetheart, I won’t be able to tolerate one that is needy. Someone that demands my attention and affection 24/7, interferes with my “me time”, my time with my video games and my time with my family and friends. Women and Men of high value don’t go for needy people; they don’t want people with little or no self worth. They want positive individuals that have a fun life and love themselves because when you’re needy you’re most likely a loner and your life will obviously be boring.
The reality is that when you’re clingy to a person, the person tends to feel obligated to you. You make the person feel bad and guilty when he/she can’t meet your needs or tolerate you. The person then ends up resenting you and becomes distant to you. Being needy will blow up your relationships right in front of your eyes. To overcome the urge of being needy, you have to find a balance in your relationships i.e. you shouldn’t over do things, contact people moderately and don’t visit them or call them up for a hangout often. To overcome neediness, you need to get a life! Get preoccupied with work, find a way to keep yourself busy, get involved with activities, go out often, visit places, develop new hobbies, visit friends, love yourself and most importantly don’t let your happiness be determined by one person. Be responsible for your happiness and take control of your life. When you have a full schedule you won’t even have the time to be needy. Independent people are more attractive than clingy ones, so get busy and be occupied with fun activities
Self confidence and self esteem are also key weapons in overcoming neediness. So by being independent and having self love, you boost your confidence and self esteem, you become someone that no longer always look to people for attention and validation and also disappointments then becomes a thing that no longer hurts you greatly. One thing needy people have to learn is that not all people take relationships seriously, some people are just naturally emotionally distant and some people don’t just like you at all and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. So you just have to learn to overcome rejection, respect their wishes, realize that persistence is not always helpful and be comfortable in your own skin and with being single. Relationships for you should be a want not a necessity; you should not make it food for your soul and what your life solely depends on.
Disclaimer: If you are in a relationship in which you know you’re not exceedingly needy and that your demands are considerably fair yet you’re getting nothing but peanuts in return, it will be best you think of how to induce a change or ending such relationships. Relationships ought to be 100-100 not 50-50 and never 20-80. Although there comes a time when a particular partner is busy that you have to do more of the texting and calling but when it becomes a routine, the relationship is not healthy, it will only make you nag, feel needy and reduce your self esteem, making you feel like you’re not good enough.
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