THE SCIENCE IN RELATIONSHIPS

You must be mystified wondering what the SCIENCE in love relationships could be about, with relationship being a form of social interaction in its description, so getting to attach a level of science detailing could sound a lot confusing. You could probably call me a Wizard though, because I tend to materialize Gold out of the thin air, but as you journey with me into my world of MICROBIOLOGY, it’s certain could become a believer.

As I have finally succeeded in grafting science and relationship together, I can boldly say that relationships tend to move in a graphical trend which could be likened to a typical microbial growth curve. As I continue, you will have to pardon my French. To my witty readers who aren’t so science inclined, get ready to be spoon fed.

The microbial growth curve simply shows and explains the rate of growth of microorganisms over a period of time. The growth curve possesses four phases; the LAG, EXPONENTIAL, STATIONARY and DEATH/DECLINE PHASE. From intensive research these phases were found to be ingrained in the growth of a love relationship.

I begin; the lag phase in microbial terms is when the microorganisms are slightly dormant, increase in size and begin to produce enzymes and vitamins vital for their growth. This slow phase is related to human intimate relationships and similar to when two intending lovers make acquaintances of each other and he starts wooing her. This is the period of knowing each other, when the expected butterflies in both bellies are still caterpillars, with the man trying to impress and put up a good show. This phase ends mostly with the woman saying yes.

In the exponential phase, the organism starts to grow, reaches its peak and reproduces at a very fast rate which is also synonymous, being that after the lag phase the butterflies in both bellies are fully grown and are dancing “shoki.” In this phase, things are going so well for both of you; you could actually “die on top her matter.” You open doors for her, she calls and texts you frequently, she always wants to be with you and you’re probably having a reasonable amount of quality sex. In short, nothing could be more perfect because you’re so in love with little or no care for the world. Sadly the stationary face walks in. 

In microbial studies this is the phase where there is no decline or increase in growth. It becomes constant because production equals accumulation of toxic waste and nutrients become depleted. This is also in relation with humans, because after the exponential phase, you become sober, the intoxicating effect from the alcohol of love is now wearing off, with the butterflies getting old. Things move at a steady state. You don’t get to communicate often, the sex isn’t so thrilling, you probably start to argue more, things are not so fun and one of you starts to lose interest. In summary, the love depletes and as we all know the law of diminishing returns affect virtually all things, so it becomes apparent for the dreaded DEATH phase to creep in.

As the death phase creeps in, the toxic waste accumulates so highly, nutrients become completely depleted and microbial growth reduces until it eventually seizes and all life forms die. This is also observed in human love relationships as this is the phase where the butterflies starts to die, couples start to fight, things get excruciatingly boring with little or no communication, one of you probably cheats, the ‘love” becomes distasteful till it eventually dies and fades.

 The REASON why most relationships end up in the death phase; when we develop assumed crush on a guy/lady, we want them so bad like our life depends on it. They’re like the most important prize in the world to us. We crave for them severely and our hearts blinds us to seeing their negative behaviors that aren’t so attuned with ours. We then get them. We feel made for a while, later the feeling becomes not as intense as before. We’re like kids fascinated by their new toy later to get bored of it. A major reason why relationships fail is because we get lazy and take things that used to matter for granted; we stop putting in effort, we stop looking good for one another, we stop doing what got him/her attracted to us, then things turn for worse and gets excruciatingly boring, we blame it on our partner, we blame it on all sorts of things until worse scenarios fill up the rest of the chapters.

The SOLUTION; just as my ex told me, “relationships don’t remain stagnant, when it’s about to die you have to reignite the flames of the love or water the plant of love for it to continue to grow.” So start giving it your all, your time and the best of your efforts. Now I’m about to speak in Greek. In modern microbiology a solution was proffered to the problem of the growth curve which always ended in a death phase. It was the CHEMOSTAT, an invention which kept the growth in the exponential phase for optimum growth. It works on the principle of pumping in fresh nutrients and simultaneously removing toxic waste. It is carried out in a controlled and contained environment. This is evident in most successful relationships where you find new ways and put in more effort to keep your love fresh (pumping in fresh nutrient). Putting in consideration that you have to agree to disagree, be faithful and forgive grudges (remove toxic waste). Finally, keeping your issues to one another (contained environment) rather than telling them to the prying ears of your friends. With all said, I’m very certain you can convince most of your friends that you majored in microbiology. So when you get home, show your man or woman this article or send the link to him/her and ask them for the phase you are in at present. Please do comment and feel free to criticize. If you love it, broadcast it and share it. Cheers!!

**Do send this article to your partner and ask him/her about the phase your relationship is currently in.**